Issue 17 | “Coping” is costing your firm more than you think
High performers don’t usually fall apart overnight. The signs are visible long before - but too often they’re missed or excused. Here’s why that blind spot is costing law firms, and what People Directors can do about it.
When “coping” hides the cracks
When I was practicing as an employment lawyer, I pushed myself hard.
There were times I was visibly run down - my tone sharper, my patience thin, my shoulders heavy from carrying too much. And yet… it was tolerated. Nobody called it out. The assumption was that I was coping.
Only when things reached crisis point - and our HR Partner stepped in after I’d been signed off for a week - was the pattern interrupted.
I see the same in firms now: high performers showing stress on their face, snappier in tone, visibly exhausted - and yet it’s excused until there’s a dip in performance or impact on the team.
The partner blind spot
This isn’t malice. It’s habit.
Law firm culture has trained partners to put clients first and praise resilience. Spotting the “human” signs of strain is rarely their default.
But by the time performance dips or attrition risks appear, the cost is already high:
Promotions stall.
Teams lose confidence.
Utilisation drops.
Talent edges toward the door.
And Deloitte’s research puts a number on it: poor mental health costs UK employers £51bn a year - with presenteeism (people “at their desks but not at their best”) being a significant drain at £24bn. In law firms, that blind spot is particularly expensive.
How to help partners see what you see
Here are three ways you can help to bridge the gap:
Name behaviours, not labels. Instead of “she’s burning out,” try: “Her response times have slowed, she’s visibly exhausted, her tone is sharper in meetings.” Specifics cut through.
Link to the commercial cost. Translate red flags into client risk, team morale, or lost billable hours - the language partners understand.
Bring a proactive solution. Don’t stop at the problem. Position 1:1 coaching, self-management and leadership training as a way to protect people and performance, without adding more firefighting to your plate. (just make sure it meets your needs!)
From cracks to confidence (a client’s story)
One senior lawyer I worked with was technically brilliant, but the cracks were showing. She carried stress on her face and her tone was often defensive. Her team had started to pull back - worried about her reactions - and promotion conversations stalled.
When we began coaching, she admitted: “I know I’m coming across badly, but I don’t know how to stop it.”
Over six sessions, we explored what she wanted for her career and home life, reset her boundaries, and leaned into her Insights Discovery profile to help her show up differently. It all also helped her understand others around her too.
Small changes - preparing ahead so she didn’t get flustered, practicing calm phrasing in difficult meetings - added up quickly.
Within months, she felt much more “steady” and “focused.” Her confidence returned, her team’s trust was rebuilt, and she stepped into promotion soon after.
That’s the difference between overlooking the signs and acting early.
Your reflection this week
You notice the signs, I regularly speak to people like you and, when I burned out, it was the HR and People team like yours who supported me through my absence and phased return to work. And, sadly, I knew I wasn't a one off.
The challenge is getting partners to notice too - and convincing them that acting early is an investment, not a cost.
What can you take from these musings and tips today to validate you, to spur you on or to give you a different perspective?
Which signs are you spotting right now — and how could you bring them into focus before the cracks widen?
With warmth, Vikki x
P.S. I have two coaching spaces open this autumn. If someone in your firm already comes to mind, let’s make one of them yours.