How change and performance play out - the negative can be a gain!
In my first Skylark Post, I shared something a little personal.
Actually - very personal. I didn’t ease you in lightly!
But I spoke about the reality of change - and how deeply it can affect us, even when it’s expected, even when it’s something we’ve chosen or something positive.
And I mentioned the change curve, something that often sits quietly in the background of our lives, shaping how we respond to the shifts around us.
I wanted to return to that today and unpack it a little more for you.
Because when we understand it - when we really see how it plays out - it gives us more than just insight. It gives us the awareness to lead better, feel better, and move forward with more ease. Whether we’re leading others or simply trying to guide ourselves through something uncertain or uncomfortable.
The change curve maps the grief curve, created by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, and offers a helpful way to understand how we, as humans, respond emotionally to change.
Not just big, dramatic, life-altering change.
But also the quiet, everyday kind.
As I walk you through this, think of a moment in your life when you've experienced change:
It might be a relationship breakdown, a change in location, or a new process at work (especially one you didn’t choose or weren’t ready for).
If you can’t think of anything, take your mind back to COVID and when our lockdown was announced!
Bring that moment to mind and let it help you see how this curve shows up in real life.
Change usually begins with shock - that moment of “Really? This is happening?”
Then comes denial - the hope that maybe it won’t last, or that it won’t really affect us.
That can slip into frustration, low motivation, or even a sense of helplessness. This slippery slope can feel endless at times. I know I’ve caught myself replaying decisions or conversations over and over, trying to make sense of something I didn’t choose.
But with time - and often with support - we start to move into acceptance.
“OK, this is really happening. I have to deal with it.”
Then we try things out. We test new ways of working, thinking, or being.
And eventually, we begin to find a new version of steady - something that, in time, becomes fully integrated (funnily enough, it’s known as the Integration stage!).
But here’s the thing: we don’t always move through the curve in a straight line.
We can go backwards, revisit denial, or fall back into frustration just when we thought we’d reached peace.
Which is why it matters - deeply - to notice where we are.
And it’s just as important to notice where others are too.
Because when we’re leading people through change - especially in high-pressure or high-performance environments - we have to be the ones holding the map.
It’s not uncommon for us to have moved through the curve quickly, while someone else is still stuck in the middle of it - maybe in resistance, confusion, or even grief.
That gap in pace can cause disconnect, tension, and risk if we don’t spot it.
Leading well means keeping a pulse on where your team is emotionally, not just where the work is operationally. It means being willing to go back, pause, or slow down to bring someone with you.
And it means being just far enough ahead to know when a dip might be coming - so you can create safety before it spirals.
But here’s something that’s often missed:
The curve is inevitable, but the way we travel it isn’t fixed.
When we have self-awareness - when we understand what helps us stay steady, what pulls us into overwhelm, what supports our wellbeing under pressure - we move through the curve more gently, and more quickly.
That’s why I created the S.E.R.V.I.C.E. Wellbeing Framework - to help legal professionals build sustainable high performance without losing themselves in the process.
It breaks wellbeing down into seven practical areas that influence how you lead, how you show up, and how you cope with change - both the loud and the quiet kind.
And the best way to start?
Take the S.E.R.V.I.C.E. Scorecard - a simple tool that will show you where you’re strong, where you might be depleted, and what’s worth prioritising next.
Because it’s hard to lead others out of the dip if we don’t even realise we’re still sitting in it ourselves.
https://skylarkserviceblocks.scoreapp.com
Warmly,
Vikki holding-the-map-while-you-navigate Pratley
