Exhausted but cannot sleep?
Have you ever felt exhausted... but not tired enough to sleep?
That bone-deep fatigue that doesn’t come from physical strain - but from your heart and head being on overload.
And that’s where I’m starting my first newsletter.
Right where I am now.
I’m riding the change curve... and the changes aren’t waiting politely in line.
They are crashing in together.
At the start of July, my dad fell gravely ill. Twice we were told he had only days to live.
He’s still with us - and even getting a little stronger - but life has shifted into a new kind of ‘normal.’
One where we’re no longer on constant high alert, but still not out of the woods.
At the same time, my little boy is experiencing his own transitions - his last days at nursery, leavers’ ceremonies, taster days at school.
All those “lasts” and “firsts” we feel as parents that rip open your chest while you try to hold it all together.
So I’m in the limbo.
One foot in what was.
One foot in what’s coming.
Whilst running a business… meeting clients’ needs… managing the home…
And holding space for everyone else walking their own curves too.
Because that’s the thing, isn’t it?
When you’re in leadership or parenting or guiding roles -
you don’t get the luxury of just riding the emotional rollercoaster, which would be enough.
You’re expected to manage yours, then help everyone else process theirs too.
And it’s exhausting.
Not just physically. Existentially.
That’s a direct line to emotional exhaustion.
And if you’re not careful - burnout.
This is where practising what I teach becomes more than theory;
The S.E.R.V.I.C.E Wellbeing Framework
It’s being tested – again - under pressure. And it’s holding.
After all, it wasn’t plucked from theory -
The S.E.R.V.I.C.E Wellbeing Framework came from clawing my way out of burnout.
But
Even now, even knowing it inside out… I’ve still caught myself slipping.
Yet it gives me the handrail, helps me notice what has slipped, realise the impact, shows me what I need.
So in July, my sleep was the first wellbeing block to wobble when my dad was taken to A&E.
And because it’s the foundation of the S.E.R.V.I.C.E Framework - I noticed immediately.
I adjusted.
Not perfectly. But with intention.
I dug into my Vision.
Clearer evenings. Boundaries around overstimulation.
Allowing myself to wind down, before I hit the bed.
And that helped me see what else was starting to fray.
The hardest block for me right now? Run.
Not just high intensity movement - but any movement.
Feeling the guilt if I exercise rather than being with my son or my dad, or giving my partner the space to go play footy.
Then realising I simply don’t have the energy.
The old-school advice would tell me to “just get out and run - it’ll make you feel better.”
No.
Because when you’re living in survival mode, pushing through with “discipline” is often just code for ignoring your nervous system.
What I need right now isn’t another shot of cortisol and a pat on the back for soldiering on.
What I need is restoration, not performance.
Tuning into what my body is asking for - and honouring it.
Right now, for me, that looks like stretching.
Gentle yoga.
A walk in the fresh air with my son.
Picking blackberries as a family.
Movement that heals - not punishes.
And above all, what’s keeping me grounded?
It’s the Endorse block - speaking to myself with grace. With kindness. With the courage to say:
“Of course you’re exhausted - it’s a lot to take.”
“It’s OK to need softness right now. You don’t have to earn your rest.”
“Look for what glimmers - and start there.” (thanks to my therapist @AnneCalleja for that inspiration!)
If you’re running on fumes and still expecting yourself to “hold it together” for everyone else...
Not tired enough to sleep, but too exhausted to move…
Know this:
You're not behind. You're not failing.
You're simply being human in a world that expects you to be a machine.
Be gentle with yourself.
Begin where you are.
And when you’re ready - start here.
👇
Use the link below to score yourself against each block in the S.E.R.V.I.C.E Wellbeing Framework.
https://skylarkserviceblocks.scoreapp.com
Let it guide you back to strength - one decision at a time.
Yours,
Vikki “rewriting the roadmap” Pratley