A Journey to Burn Out and Beyond
It’s Blue Monday today and, boy, am I feeling it! I’m sure I’m not the only one generally feeling low after the frivolities of the festive season have worn off and the excesses are catching up (not to mention the Bre*it word!) so it may be time to ask...
Do you want 2019 to be different to 2018?
If so, I can tell you how to achieve this...
You don’t believe me?
Well the magic answer is… later on this article....
In 2017; as the founding Partner and Employment Lawyer in the first regulated law firm to be established within an accountancy practice, I was highly challenged and loved working outside my comfort zone every day. I was inspired; I was constantly learning; I was thinking innovatively; I was creating; I was problem solving; I was flying high! I was in my element... or so I thought.
What I hadn’t noticed was how miserable I had got. How stressed and exhausted I was. How overwhelmed I was. How I couldn’t think. How my brain was wrapped in cotton wool AND surrounded in fog!
Even though life felt like I was ‘walking through treacle’ and I had lost my sparkle, my ability to communicate or to get internal projects finished, no one called me on it. No one realised what was happening, including me, and I blundered on and on... until I hit the metaphorical brick wall.
I was burnt out.
So I had to change and I had to change quickly.
I had to change all my behaviours (yes I mean all!). I had got into bad habits of not giving my brain headspace, only getting six hours sleep a night (max!), skipping meals or eating at erratic times, working long hours every day, not seeing daylight for a breath of fresh air (unless it was to walk from my car to the office!) and burning the candle at both ends – all the time!
The change to my behaviours also needed to include goal setting and interacting with others. I had a to-do list as long as my arm that I could never complete (but genuinely thought I would!) and was easily and quickly frustrated, which translated to me being abrupt in my communication skills. I had unrealistic expectations of how much I could do and never took a moment to look at how much I had achieved to be reward or even just be kind to myself.
My hair had been snapping off, my skin was bad, my energy levels were very low and my quality of life was poor. Rather than living and thriving, I was surviving. But only just!
But what I did realise was that it was in my power to change my behaviours so I could take control of this situation and turn it around. My life didn’t have to be like this and I could choose for it to be different.
So I did.
How did I do it?
I did it by starting with myself and building a relationship with My Inner Six Year Old...
My Inner Six Year Old was paralysed into inaction with fear; the fear of all the work and effort needed to take action; the fear of getting lost in the detail and overwhelmed again; the fear of the unknown; but most of all, the fear of our old friend, ‘failure’.
So what did I do? First, I spent time reminding myself of who I am; my strengths, my purpose and my values.
I created my vision for the life I wanted based on who I am. I started to break this vision down into smaller goals; monthly and weekly and finally daily goals. Realistic goals that were achievable by me at that time and could grow as I grew.
By doing this, I found that I could then mobilise My Inner Six Year Old into action. I knew the little steps I could take and I took them; those first tiny steps towards change that would result in transforming my life.
By anchoring myself in my purpose and vision, I could keep myself on track and not spread myself too thin, whilst still getting creative and having fun! I have discovered that setting boundaries (which I previously hated and didn’t value!) doesn’t have to be restrictive, it just means that you don’t wander too far away from your ultimate vision.
I’ve rediscovered the confidence I had lost and I feel once again resilient to the inevitable changes that come our way when the thermals of life push us high and drop us down. Each day, I take another first step regardless of yesterday.
Since my burn out, I’ve not only learnt better than ever before how to manage change. But I’ve learnt how I can capitalise on change to enhance my performance; even when it’s change I am not expecting.
So what’s the magic answer to my opening question; “Do you want 2019 to be different to 2018?”
It is to take one step in a different direction and you’ll be on a different path. You’ll be effecting change. And the only way you are going to have different experiences in 2019 than 2018 is if you (yes, you!) make changes; changes to how you experience the world, how you interact with the world and how you behave in that world.
The exciting thing is, this is in your power! YOU can take action today, right now, this second, to make a change!
Recently someone said to me ‘people only change when the pain of not changing is too much to ignore’ and I do think that’s probably quite accurate for many of us. It certainly was for me as I didn’t make these changes until I flew into that wall at 100 miles per hour!
I don’t want such an extreme event to happen to you before you make change.
Nowadays I specialise in helping other leaders and high performing professionals to make changes to achieve the results they want in their lives and teams by equipping them with a mindset, a set of skills and a process. Oh, and some self-care tips and fun along the way!
So if you:
are ready to transform your life and be the best leader you can be
want to develop your team beyond even their own expectations
are an action taker
grab opportunities when they arise
know deep down it’s time to make a change and
are ready to join me on the cliff edge, to peer over, brace yourself and discover how high you can fly
… then please contact me.
It’s up to you, you can stay exactly where you are, feeling like change is out of your reach and never take action or you can take that first step towards your new reality.
I know the first step is the hardest – but I guarantee it will lead to all kinds of rewards for you, your life, you work and your team. And remember, if you do nothing, nothing will change.
If you’d like to know more about managing change as a leader than please contact me through messenger or at Vikki@Skylark.life
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#letsbenefitourselvesandothers